Looks like Minneapolis has itself a pizza bandit

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Any criminal depraved enough to leave a slice of pizza uneaten should be feared, captured, and locked up for life. Best of Nextdoor/Twitter

If America cannot have reasonable gun control, can we at least stop criminals from weaponizing pizza?

This is one of no fewer than 45 questions that will run through your mind while viewing the below story, a context-free excerpt posted in a local Nextdoor neighborhood forum.

What the tale of the infamous Pizza Bandit of Minneapolis lacks in substance, it makes up for in visuals. As captured and shared by the (consistently wonderful) Best of Nextdoor Twitter account, these images of a pizza slice "strategically" wedged in front of a motion sensor light has the subject line "Suspicious activity."

Anyone who cares more about blocking your motion sensor light than eating a slice of pizza is clearly a menace to society, and should be hauled off the streets immediately. What kind of monster...?

This is probably what happened when everyone got way too high before a writers meeting for Macgyver.

Questions to the Minneapolis Police Department about this crime-by-the-slice are as yet unanswered, so we can't say for certain if the vandal/trespasser/pizza-forsaker walks among us still.

If you have any tips, give them to the delivery guy.

 


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