The bad news is, Donald Trump's going to get reelected.
The good news: Despite much evidence to the contrary, human life will still exist in some form in the year 2030, though a few of us will be living on Mars.
Even greater news: Phones will be a little bit faster, and swiping will be easier.
These are just a few of the mind-blowing revelations from a popular Youtube video featuring a young man who goes by "Noah," who says he is visiting the present from the not-so-distant future. He made this journey to... mostly to appear in Youtube videos, so far. He'll only agree to do so with his face obscured and voice modulated.
In fact, there's just one identifying feature to this future guy: his University of Minnesota Gophers shirt. Noah's worn the same U of M gear in two separate interviews with paranormally inclined Youtubers.
Where'd he get the shirt? Did someone from 2018 give it to him so he'd blend in with the normies living now? Was he rockin' this Gophers shirt in 2030, and brought it back with him? (Is "brought" the right verb for something 12 years from now?) Does everyone in the near future wear University of Minnesota gear? Is this the uniform?
Noah doesn't say, and his interlocutor doesn't answer, thus leaving this time traveler's ties to the U a mystery... like much else, frankly. Consider Noah's description of how it is he got back here. "There's different ways" to move through time, he informs his interviewer.
His method is evidently difficult to explain:
Noah: "I use a bunch of electricity around me, and -- or, if I'm in a place where I'm supposed to time travel, usually I'm in this giant [garbled] underground, where, like electricity generates, and then the technology [garbled] my body to fire up, and then I just, time travel."
Isn't it? Feels like that last part -- "then I just, time travel" -- is a key step in the process.
Noah's exclusive interview with "ApexTV" is framed originally as a lie detector test, though they seem to abandon that premise after a few questions. (You'll be relieved to learn Noah's claim he could potentially be in danger is rated "false.") Anyway, without the aid of the lie detector -- and no additional "technology" around to [garbled] -- we'll have to assume every single thing Noah says here is 100 percent true.
Be proud, Minnesota students and alumni. A man from the future's wearing one of your shirts.
Be ashamed, everyone. This video's five days old, and has been viewed more than 400,000 times.
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