There are so, so many legitimate reasons to write official complaints to federal agencies these days.
Imagine thinking Shakira and Jennifer Lopez are among them. For 1,300-some American viewers of the Super Bowl halftime show, the lengthy medley those two and assorted guests put on was so offensively sexual that they felt compelled to file their grievances with the Federal Communications Commission (FCC).
The consensus among these horrified viewers is that they and their families had seen so much of J.Lo and Shakira's gyrating asses they wanted people to be fired, fined, and/or sent to jail.
The full list of complaints was obtained by WFAA, a Dallas-area TV station, whose home state happened to produce the highest volume of them: Texas accounted for 102 complaints. Vermont was the only state where absolutely no one wrote in.
In Minnesota, 26 people took the time to write the FCC about the halftime show, with most submitting their complaint sometime on the morning of February 3, meaning they survived this experience, presumably slept, and were still so worked up about a song-and-dance routine they needed to put their feelings in writing.
Based on these filings, the majority of Minnesota's most communicative prudes live in the suburbs, though one each weighed in from Minneapolis ("Why do we have to be subjected to seeing her ugly 51 anus and vagina when we want to watch football," wondered... someone) and St. Paul, where a viewer was especially concerned about the moment when J.Lo "slid her crotch into the camera and wiggled her finger onto her vagina."
Below, a selection of some of Minnesota's concern trolling about the halftime show. They might not be our brightest, or our most cultured, our most adept at spelling and punctuation... hell, they may not even be remotely familiar with female reproductive anatomy. But dammit, they are Minnesota's most available citizens on a Monday morning, and for that we should all be proud.