Taylor Swift just released her new single “ME!” and—oh, come the fuck on.
“ME!” is like if someone who’d been depressed their entire life was asked to describe what happiness sounds like.
“ME!” is like if Instagram became sentient and made a TV commercial advertising TV commercials.
“ME!” is like if a Speak & Spell tried to pick you up at a bar by ordering a shot of Day-Glo unicorn puke.
“ME!” sounds like it was Kickstarted by football players who were worried that they couldn’t beat up marching bands anymore because Beyoncé had made them cool.
"ME!" is the perfect song to play on repeat at high volume if you want to trick your parents into thinking you're still a virgin.
"ME!" probably won't be my favorite song of 2019 until June, at the earliest.